On sunday mornings I wake up and gently push the covers off of me. I sit up and look in the mirror to see someone I no longer recognise. the first thing on my to do list it to light up a cigarette, being as quiet as I can so they dont know I'm awake yet. I lay back with my cigarette in my mouth. Inhale. Exhale. My mind can't keep but from wondering. How many shots of E&J did I have last night? How many blunts did we smoke? How many people were even in my back yard last night? 10. 3. 5. I know all the answers, I just want to know why I let him have sex with me again? I'm sapposed to be in love with her. It's not that I'm not in love with her, its just, when I get that way, that high, that drunk, which is all too often; I cant help but let my friends influence me. He is my friend, my best friend, I just wish he would stop taking advantage of me. I love him like a brother, only. How can she trust me, when I can't even trust me?
-Toni <3
Do you think people should be able to write in the journal, online, with out actually writing in the journal?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
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